Boyfriend berates girlfriend's spending on European vacation, insisting on the cheapest option: 'He constantly judges me when I want to spend money'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 2, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

What do you do when you're financially incompatible? 

There are lots of ways you can find out that you're incompatible with someone. Some you find out earlier than others. Some disparities are immediate: you can look at someone and instantly know that it's not going to work out. But other things take months, even years, to uncover. And then you're in over your head, and before you know it you're wondering how this relationship got away from you. This can be a pretty difficult thing to come to grips with at a certain point. You're invested in the relationship, and you don't want to have to throw it all away just because of something small. But small things have a way of becoming big. That's what was happening in this story, which was shared on the AITAH subreddit. 

When one of you is on a strict budget, and the other isn't, this can be a pretty difficult situation to navigate. You don't want to have to compromise on absolutely everything, even though that's what you're being asked to do. And when you're on vacation, you probably want to cut loose a little, and that includes with your finances. Maybe you've saved up enough for some nice dinners. If you are always choosing the cheapest option, then you might miss out on some great stuff. That's the situation this couple was in when one of them was constantly asking the other one to curb their spending. 

Advertisement
  • 01
    A couple argues on a beach on vacation
    via Tim Mossholder

    Licensed media provided as editorial context.

    A couple argues on a beach on vacation

  • 02

    Am I in the wrong for telling my boyfriend I'll pay for my own food from now on because I'm tired of him judging how I spend my money?

    My boyfriend and I are currently travelling around Europe together, and we still have 10 days left. Honestly, I'm getting to the point where I can barely stand being around him because we constantly fight about money. My boyfriend is extremely cheap. He is always looking for the absolute cheapest place to eat, constantly complains about prices, and somehow money has to be brought up every single time we go somewhere. It's exhausting.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 03
    The thing is, I don't consider myself irresponsible with money at all. I save and invest most of my money and I'm generally very careful with my spending. However, I've worked incredibly hard these past few months, and while I'm travelling, I want to occasionally enjoy myself and treat myself. I might want to go to a nicer restaurant or buy some
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 04
    clothes. I'm not talking about luxury shopping or spending hundreds of dollars on meals. I just don't want to travel around Europe and have every single decision revolve around finding the cheapest possible option. He constantly judges me when I want to spend money and tells me things are too expensive. But when I say, "Fine, I'll just pay for
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 05
    myself," he gets annoyed too. At this point, I've decided that from now on, I'm going to be responsible for paying for my own food and he can pay for his. If I want to go somewhere nicer and spend more money, I'll pay for it myself. He can choose whatever cheaper option he wants without having to worry about what I'm spending.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 06
    This is also affecting our accommodations. He booked some extremely cheap hotels, and some have bad reviews mentioning shady or unsafe areas. As a woman travelling in unfamiliar places, I don't feel comfortable sacrificing my sense of safety just to save money. I'm honestly so fed up with constantly fighting about this. I've worked hard over the past
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 07
    few months, saved my money, and I feel like I should be allowed to occasionally enjoy it without being made to feel guilty. So, AITA for telling him that from now on I'll pay for my own food and he can pay for his, because I'm tired of constantly arguing about how I spend my own money?
    via Head_Track_3523

  • When you have shared finances, it makes sense to be conscious of them together. Plus, when you're a couple, you tend to spend money together. This can get tricky quickly when you're not on the same page about your spending habits. This couple wasn't. They were at a crossroads and needed a little advice from strangers on the internet. Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to realize that things don't have to be the way they are. Keep reading to see what happened to this couple and see what you think about it.

  • 08
    A couple sit on a stoop outside having an argument
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Photo is a representation of scenes.


    A couple sit on a stoop outside having an argument

  • 09

    Commenters agreed that this was a red flag.

    DrMoneybeard NTA but I think you are discovering that you two are not very compatible.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 10
    Grcdogsandcats You have found out you are not compatible moneywise. This is not going to work for the long run. He is going to be cheap in every aspect of your lives, housing, food, gifts, clothing, other vacations, holidays, your children, etc., etc. Do you want to do this the rest of your life?
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 11
    Impossible_Disk_43 NTA And why should he have any say in how you spend your money? It's all well and good if he's frugal, fine. Good for him. But it's not unreasonable to treat yourself on holiday.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 12
    Aware_Patient_5376 I'm confused. Surely you're paying for your share of food & accommodation? But totally agree if you're on a trip & have the funds why wouldn't you eat somewhere nicer now & then. It should be a trip of a lifetime.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 13
    Socksgonewrong NTA but Sounds like you're not compatible and this should be your last trip together!
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 14
    why_adnauseaum From what I read, it sounds like your bf is expecting to be paying for both your meals himself while you're saving your money to buy stuff for yourself. I'd be looking for the cheap option, too, if I was him. Food in Europe is expensive. Unless you have shared finances, all the expenses should be shared.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 15
    asfierceaslions Babe, you are absolutely NOT the a hole, but you need to like. Ditch him now and at least enjoy the rest of your trip. This is a ridiculous way to act when you're on a nice trip and no one is absolutely hurting for cash.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 16
    It's not a fair way to treat other people on a trip with you. If he wants to be miserable, so be it, but you wouldn't be the a hole if you straight up spent the rest of the trip without him and made breaking up a matter for when you get back, or now, for that matter.
    via Head_Track_3523
  • 17
    Not keeping your safety in mind while abroad is gross, too, and I see no reason you couldn't find safer places to stay and without someone who is also constantly in your ear trying to convince you to have a worse time in Europe.
    via Head_Track_3523

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

europe relationship advice money problems relationships cheap money vacation
Scroll Down For The Next Article